M Shadows is an amazing force in my life. For a long time I've been unable to write....the words would not come. Two nights ago the dam suddenly broke and I am once again able to express myself through the written word. Here is one of my recent works....
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A glossy, slightly wrinkled photo of you sits on the table across from me.
There are many more like it where I am.
I keep your face around me so that I may see it whenever I need to.
I feel the fingers of something malignant close around my heart
Squeezing the life out of me
But my eyes shift to where you smile from a page in a magazine
And I am immediately freed.
I maintain access to your voice
So that I may hear you constantly, whenever I feel
Like the worst of this life is all I can see
When the CD is spinning, I am reminded that there is still something beautiful
To be had when all is rotting and decayed.
The television is on, and anxiously I wait
I know I shall see you tonight, I always see you when I need you.
And there you are…your flawless face dominating the screen,
Your infectious smile like a shaft of moonlight in this all-encompassing darkness.
I keep these pictures…these albums…these channels on the television…
I keep them all to be with you.
Though I know it is impossible for me to be at your side in reality,
I persist in keeping you near me, even if it is just your image.
It seems that there was nothing as glorious as you in my life before that fateful day
When I first hearkened to your voice
Nothing mattered and it seemed nothing ever would
But once I’d heard you, I could not deny you.
I could not deny that I needed this in my life, that I needed you…
I needed you to get me through…to hold me up where I would collapse…
To push me forward where I’d fall back.
An angel, as personified by the symbol I wear, the symbol that denotes me
As a lover of you.
A savior, though a lesser one, even if you do not care to accept the label.
You shine for me when I cannot shine myself.
You bring me solace when I am inconsolable.
When everyone else is gone, you are still there, waiting for my call
So you may grace me with your mystical songs
Your promise of a day where I, as all the others that turn to you, will rise.
The day will come, I know it…I know it because you profess it.
There is nothing that can tear me away from you.
No force of man, nature, or even a deity is stronger than you, in my view.
You are the strength of the world.
And I will always stand behind you, with the others that feel the same…
Forever.
Your words will be my eulogy.
You are the chosen one.
You are…Matthew Charles Sanders, whom we call M. Shadows.
And whom I call…my salvation.
Venin Gates™ [[FALLEN]] -loves- Matt [[SHADOWS]]
-- Until Death --
we are the fallen
A7X til Death
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